Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Internal Dilemma... and I need your HELP!



Hello, my lovely, faithful, dear, dear readers and friends!

It feels like years since I posted on here or even interacted with you all!

To those of you who are new followers, this post is going to seem like it's coming out of left-field, so, I apologize for that.

I know that many of you long-time readers have been wondering what the heck is going on with my lack of blogging.

Rightfully so, seeing as I haven't posted anything new since July.

Many of you have emailed, commented, or messaged me on Facebook to reach out or express your concern at my lack of presence on the internet. Let me tell you, it meant a lot! It really and truly did... However, I didn't know how to respond to your queries... so for the most part, I just didn't. And I'm so, soooooo, sorry! You see, I've had this dilemma, and honestly, I haven't known what to do.

I've been struggling internally to know whether or not to continue writing for Pennies & Pancakes, and it's taken me way too long to let you all know why...

It comes down to this: 

As most of you know, my husband finished his 7 years of post-graduate education and training in the medical field. You also know that those years were the very definition of "lean" years for us... over $300,000 of educational debt, a tiny resident physician salary for our family of 6, and our deep desire to get rid of debt ASAP.  During those years, I threw myself into finding creative ways to preserve what money we had, and became fully, completely, 100% dedicated to living as frugally as possible.

Well, our family entered a new phase this summer...

Hubby started his first "real job" in July.  (You'll notice that my last recipe post was in the same month... That is no coincidence.)

Here's the thing... I can no longer say that my focus on penny-pinching is top priority. And therefore, feel somewhat hypocritical/uncomfortable with the idea of advocating a lifestyle, that I'm no longer living 100%. 

These days, I buy strawberries when they're not even on sale.

I haven't consistently made my own bread for a few months.

I've bought nicer cuts of steak to cook for dinner a couple times in the last few months... which is more nice steak than we ate it in the last few years.

To tell the truth, my budget for groceries and household supplies has "skyrocketed" to $520 a month (for our family of 6.)

It's not that we've made a complete 180 from our frugal life... 

But, having a salary over 3 times larger than we're accustomed to has allowed me to breathe a little easier. We have more wriggle room. My time has been freed up from making/baking everything, daily deal-hunting, and finding thrifty short-cuts, to do other things that I've always wanted to do. Things that I have either put off, or haven't had time for... like training for triathlons, going hiking with my family, and saving for a highly anticipated family trip to Disneyland in January.

But our family of six still lives pretty frugally. Even though we don't have to do it, we choose to make significant "extra" payments on my husband's educational loans in an effort to pay them of quickly... well-over half of his paycheck goes straight from our bank account to the lender's account.

While we focus our efforts on debt reduction, we will continue renting a moderately-priced town home (while saving up for a decent downpayment in the future).

I still drive a 2004 minivan, and my husband still drives his '97 civic. We won't be upgrading those vehicles for years.

My kids and I still wear hand-me downs.

And I continue to enjoy making/baking much of what we eat... just not all of it.

So, in many regards, we still live the basic principles I've always advocated on Pennies & Pancakes... But not 100%. 

And so, while I enjoy sharing my frugal recipes, and frugal living tips... every time I've considered posting again, I've felt a bit like a phony.

Like I'm no longer totally practicing what I preach.

As I mentioned before, when one of you would reach out to me and question where I was and how I was doing, I didn't know what to say... I'll give you an idea of the two trains of thought going through my head:

Brain 1: "Tell them you're done blogging because you're no longer as thrifty as you once were. Be honest."

Brain 2: "No! Don't say that... you might want to keep blogging in spite of that!

Brain 1: "Well, THAT'S shady."

Brain 2: "But you have other frugal ideas and recipes you could share! You can't tell them you're quitting if you're not sure."

Brain 1: "HA! You'll have a guilty conscience if you do that. You'll feel fake. And you should tell them you're quitting because it's the right thing to do."

Brain 2: "But it could be helpful to the readers if you continue blogging, even if the posts were a little different than they used to be."

Brain 1: "Helpful, shmelpful. It'd be a sham."

Brain 2: "You know... sometimes I really don't like Brain 1."

Brain 1: "The feeling is mutual."



So, yeah... all joking aside, now you're all up to speed on what's going on in my crazy brain.

AND I need to ask you a favor... 

I feel like the best way to go about deciding whether or not to continue blogging is to include your advice as I weigh pros and cons.

Do you feel I should continue? Or does it feel fake if I post because I'm not as thrifty as I used to be? 

Please comment below with your thoughts... good or bad. I've got thick skin. :)

Thanks for hanging in there with me while I sort this out, guys! You are all wonderful!!


42 comments:

  1. As someone who has returned to work and stills holds onto thrifty ideals but not 100 percent because I no longer have time to do so....it would be nice to follow a blog that does a little of each...

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  2. Please continue!! I admired your honesty and don't consider you being fake for not being 100% thrifty.
    I look forward to reading your blogs! No pressure ;)

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  3. Continue! We all have days that are back and forth. Any tips are good tips. Thanks :)

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  4. Please continue!! I'm all for listening to Brain 2 ;)

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  5. I am not at a stage of life where I need to be completely frugal all the time. My grocery budget for my family of four is bigger than your updated budget. :) I am feeding four adults, but still. All this to say, I hope you continue to blog! We all have stages of life.. I am thrilled that you have entered a financially easier stage.

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  6. Please continue with your blog. Speaking for myself and those that I know, very few of us manage to be 100% thrifty, 100% of the time, but every penny saved is another penny we put towards our children or grandchildren's needs.

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  7. girl keep doing it if its what you like to do. My husband is in his second year of a seven year program( and I know there's only one type of specialty that goes for 7 years so I'm totally feeling your pain) I feel really selfish because I want to know what this stage of life is bringing for you because I will be there in a little while. I also wouldn't mind if you put all of this into a little cook book form of some sort. You are my go-to blog for so many recipes I would love to have it in paper form sitting on my shelf.

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  8. I would enjoy reading and following along on your new phase of life :-)

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  9. You're not being fake if you continue your blog. It's like, let's say....you have gained knowledge in certain areas and now you are the teacher. You don't give up on your students because you have gained knowledge, you share what you know. Your blog can still contain much useful information for others who are not at that point in their lives to have this knowledge on their own. All I can say, is please continue on with your blog because every post is useful to someone.

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  10. I feel we have times when our income changes whether it's up or down but you can still provide useful information to living within a set budget whatever amount that is. You have a lot of wisdom to pass on to others on the same journey and how to move forward when your income is more abundant.

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  11. I like your blog a lot. However, I can't help but thinking as I read your blog that perhaps it's you who doesn't really know if you WANT to keep blogging. It could just be a pain to blog about something that perhaps you're just not as interested in anymore.

    So, with that said, if you like to write, there would be nothing wrong with simply transferring over to something else that you've taken interest in.

    All the best!

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  12. I do believe that Brain 2 has made up your mind already. It is quite alright with me if you continue blogging with frugal ideas even if you and your family have graduated to a lesser degree of frugality! Now that you have come clean with the reasons for your hiatus, you can still blog with frugal ideas for us as your family deals with the agony of paying off the student loan debt. I certainly do not see you as a hypocrite now that you have informed us of your family's successes. Enjoy your life and keep us informed as you wish.

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  13. I say you go girl. Keep up the great work. Your slant on a particular subject could mean light at the end of the tunnel for someone like me. Praise God for His blessings. Take care

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  14. Not even close to fake; I call it experienced! My husband just lost his O/T, which was a great part of his bi-weekly check! He's now salary!( So I personally think that you should continue to share your thoughts... even if they're recycled?

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  15. Coming from me myself...I thought your recipes themselves were amazing whether they were thrifty or not & looked forward to what you were going to do next whether we tried it or not. And even if you are able to spend more now, you'll still have something to teach us & new pointers to give us, because things like that don't change just because your pocketbook does. So feel no guilt or worries or like a fake because you wouldn't be....you've learned it & earned it & be proud of it & yourself! *smiles*

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  16. I think you should definitely continue. You may not be living the most frugal lifestyle possible (though in my personal opinion feeding a family of 6 for $520 a month is pretty frugal), but you have done it. You know how to do it and that information is invaluable to those of us who are trying to get our budgets under control and learning to live on less. When my husband got sick, we had to learn to live without his income and I needed all the help I could get. Pennies and Pancakes was one of the best sites I found. Every time I hear someone talking about how they're having a hard time stretching the food dollars, I tell them to check out your site. You've helped so many and I know you will continue to be a big help in the future.

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  17. Please continue! I like getting new recipes from you!

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  18. Your family has been working very hard to reach a set goal. You have achieved that and should not feel guilty. I feel if you have something you would like to share on your blog than by all means do so without guilt. To be a mentor to others is something we should all strive for as we age.
    It is ironic how you can get used to the struggles and as soon as there is room to breath you feel guilty for breathing, I have been there too.

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  19. This is YOUR blog. Keep going if you love it! And we'll continue to enjoy all your tips and ideas!!

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  20. Please continue with your Blog. I very much enjoy your posts.

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  21. Keep blogging! There's a difference between being frugal & being poor. Just because you can afford an occasional indulgence now doesn't mean that you're not still acting wisely with your money. If you get to the point where you feel you're spending consistently foolishly & carelessly, THEN stop blogging : )

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  22. In the last months, I have wondered if I was missing any emails from your blog, so I'd come on here to check. If it fits in with your life, I do truly like your blog and would welcome more from you.

    I find that even when we have extra money, I seek for frugal and healthy recipes to put on our menu rotation along with other favorites. We recently found a new recipe called 'rajma' made with kidney beans, loved it and it was quite frugal......even the 'must eat meat' guys liked it alot!! We especially strive to keep whole grains, dry beans and lentils, and lots of vegetables in our daily meals, which also keep food costs more reasonable, as we enjoy more health.

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  23. Please continue , but if you cannot ,give us some notice so I can print recipes ,etc. off before you are done.
    Ultimately, you need to do what is best for you and your family. Do what your heart tells you to do.

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  24. Don't feel like a phony....you are just entering a different stage of life and that is a great thing, you should celebrate that! Your recipes are great, whether living "frugal" or not.

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  25. Please continue, and share your more balanced approach to frugality. Some of us are just trying to make improvements, but have decent incomes. Sharing how you approach where to splurge and where to save would be very helpful to me.

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  26. I am a relative newcomer to your blog and actually yours is the first blog I ever subscribed to. However, I always knew the day was coming that your husband would finish medical school and become a doctor and your life would change. Life is not a static activity, it is a journey with constant changes and adaptations. I suspect most, if not all of us, would love for you to keep blogging even if some days your blog has no advice that would apply to us. We certainly are interested in reading about you and your family and following your progess. I wish you well and hope that you can always choose to be frugal and not feel that it is forced upon you. Thanks for your honesty.

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  27. Please keep the blog, as long as it is something you want to do. I just recently found you and have loved looking through your ideas and recipes! I am happy for you and your family that your budget is not so restrictive, what a nice reward for your years of working towards your family's goal. I don't think it is dishonest to post tips you are not needing to use, I think of it as helping your fellow Moms!

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  28. You are a great blogger. You still have so much to share and give to readers, don't be so hard on yourself!

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  29. Of COURSE you should continue! I am happy that your life has gotten easier, but that doesn't mean you don't still have great things to say. Your attitude is inspiring whether or not you're living on the leanest of budgets.

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  30. I appreciate your honesty. Life changes (my husband has been out of dental school for 2.5 years) so I understand the changes. You are still frugal because it has become second nature, but more down to earth about it because it isn't as essential. I say, keep blogging if you enjoy it and have things to share. I use your beans recipe at least a few times a week. Good luck on this journey of life and figuring out the balance in all things.

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  31. Keep blogging! I like your style. You can just lean more toward the pancakes than the pennies.

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  32. Keep going! You are showing us the natural results of your penny-pinching ways . . . now you have more leeway in your budget! But even if you're spending a little more on groceries, it doesn't mean you don't still have good and important things to say.

    I am also in a situation where I used to live extremely frugally and do a lot less now that things are more comfortable. But I still enjoy making an effort to save—it's just more fun now that I don't absolutely have to.

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  33. I think you should continue blogging,. Being thrifty doesn't mean 100% all the time. It means doing what you can, when you can.. I think you still have a lot to offer...I enjoy reading it all.

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  34. Please keep blogging! I love your recipes! :)

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  35. I hope very much that you will continue. I enjoy your blog and I'm sure I will enjoy anything it will contain- frugal or not. Thanks.

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  36. Continue! There are many who can benefit from your experience and ideas.

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  37. Continue if you like.You still have knowledge to pass on to us less fortunate

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  38. Please, do not stop, I just found your blog and like it sooooo much!

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  39. You should do what is best for you. That being said, it is better for me if you keep blogging. I love your recipes. Your retried beans and tortillas are staple recipes. I love your bagel recipe and make your donuts as a treat for my family. I think that is really awesome. My kids are growing up eating your recipes and I think that's pretty cool. There are plenty of frugal blogs out there, but i have only found your's and one other that have great recipes my family loves. Thank you for that.

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  40. Even though it's great that you don't have to live 100% super-frugal-by-necessity anymore, you still have great tips and tricks for those who do still live that way and for those of us in your same-but-new situation of frugal-with-a-bit-of-ease. Please keep posting if it works for you and your family. :)

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  41. Continue. Who said you had to do every single frugal thing there was available? I am not sure that is even possible. The rest of us can always use new ideas, and feel free to work them into our lives....or not.

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  42. Hey you rock lady, congrats to Doctor Mr. Husband for making it through med school and congrats to you for also making it through med school! Keep it up and rock out breathing easy!

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